What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why am I not losing weight despite eating 1500 calories daily? Male 24y 161kg 174cm and obese. My calorie tracking is on point, I mostly eat prepackaged food and occasionally cook for myself measuring only the raw ingredients, yes including the oil.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …